I just checked my snapchats, the group chat, and Instagram and that’s when I realized, I’m the only single friend in almost all my compartmentalized friend groups. Everyone I talk to on a daily basis is part of some type of situationship or a relationship, then there’s me. I’m still not sure how I feel about this so we’ll figure it out together by the end of this post. *insert upside down smiley emoji* I’m not pressed for anything serious right now but I’m also not against it. It’s all about vibes for me so I’m pretty much chilling until then. I will say that being that friend is an interesting role. It has moments that will make you wish you were in a relationship yourself and others that will make you vow to be forever single. Nonetheless, you remember that you’re only an outsider and will never fully know any relationship besides your own.
Aside from not having to constantly consider someone else before you act or sharing your food- the best part is having your own couple. I’m not sure if normal people do this but I do. My sister and her boyfriend are my couple. When they first started dating years ago, I was in a relationship and I thought hanging out with them alone would be too third-wheely so I secretly avoided it. A short while after that, when I was single and bored, I decided to give it a chance. It started out as just coming along for quick car rides then next thing I knew, we were going out for pizza, then ice-cream runs, and now we workout and go grocery shopping together. The third-wheel feeling is basically non-existent..once they started paying for my food they won my heart.
But if we’re being real, this role comes with downsides. The main one being annoying cliche lines coming from your friends. You can’t “aww” or mention your singleness without someone feeling sorry for you or telling you “your time will come.” That’s like the last thing
single people I want to hear because it never sounds sincere. I much rather you join in on laughing at my failed Tinder date than get fake sentimental about how there’s a good guy out there for me. Not that there isn’t someone out there for me, it just sounds awkward coming from someone else.
The “in-between” state of being the only single one left is being the outsider who gets to see everything. Seeing just how unique the dynamic of every relationship is super-interesting. In a way it’s scary because you’ll see and hear things about one couple and secretly pray your next romantic endeavor is nothing like it. But then you’ll be sitting in the car with someone and overhear a phone call with their significant other calling just to say ‘I love you”. That’s when I casually wipe the tear away from my eye cause HOW FREAKING CUTE IS THAT? I thought that only happened in my movies then I see it happen in real life and my heart melts. LOL I’m the definition of a hope(ful) romantic so it’s refreshing to see things like this.
Without a doubt, you learn a lot from being the outsider in these situations. You learn what you won’t settle for and you gain tips on dealing with inevitable relationship woes. What I think is most important though is to remember that you do not know what these people are like in private so no matter how perfect (or horrible) things seem, you’ll never really know. I pass judgment very quickly and I can openly admit that but I have to catch myself, knowing I’ll never know the real story. You’ll never catch me calling out relationship goals (besides my sister and her boyf cause they’re perfect) for that exact reason. On the flip side, I also won’t encourage someone to leave their SO after hearing only one side of the story. I’ll give my opinion on anything cause I love hearing myself talk (lol, 1/2 kidding) but at the end of the day I’ll remind you to follow your heart aka DO YOU, BOO.
I wanna hear your thoughts, whether you’re the single friend or not, leave comments below!