What a lovely surprise to finally discover how unlonely being alone can be. -Ellen Burstyn
“I don’t have anyone to go with.”
“It won’t be fun by myself.”
“They can’t go anymore so I’ma just stay home.”
These words have left my mouth more than I’m willing to admit. I was so dependent on other people joining me that I never stopped to think about doing things on my own. I missed out on a concert to see The Weeknd, my favorite artist, because my friends bailed last minute. I pouted, cried, and went to bed instead of woman-ing up and going on my own. I was so scared of what all the girls who were there with their friends would think when they saw me by myself. Looking back, I’m sure I would’ve found myself singing along with complete strangers, having a good time. I try not to have regrets but that night has to be one of them…I was so emotional that I didn’t think anything out logically and missed out on a great night.
Instead of beating myself up over something I can’t change, I decided to put an end to relying on other people to do the things I want. I started small and gradually did more on my own . In the beginning, I would go to coffee shops alone or have lunch at a new restaurant by myself. I worked my way up to going to a Broadway show and the movies. My most recent solo leap was buying a ticket to Los Angeles.
In each case, I knew I wanted something and finding someone to roll with took more work than I was willing to put in. I was fortunate enough to have two friends in LA willing to host and show me around. That definitely made my experience a more positive one but at the time of my purchase, I was prepared for two days of solo wandering while my friend went to work. I didn’t end up having to be my by self but I was ready for it if it needed to happen.
I’ve enjoyed each and every adventure I’ve decided to take on my own. The planning was easy because I only had to worry about myself and only had to be on one person’s time schedule-mine!
We all love our friends and wish we could have them there for all our major experiences but a big part of adulthood is going after what you when you want it. Missing out on seeing a movie because you can’t sync schedules with the squad is slightly annoying but you can fix that. Missing a grand opening of a new cafe or not going on Spring Break because no one can join you is just putting your life on hold for other people.
My roommate recently bought a ticket to see one of her favorite artists perform in NYC. She scouted for someone to join her but was limited due to a language barrier and not many of us being familiar with this artist from India. She told me she took the leap to go alone and had my voice in her head as she completed the purchase. I LOVE being that motivation. I want everyone to have my voice in their head and to take the jump and do things alone without worrying about what others think about it.
What solo-activities have you done recently? Or what’s stopping you? Share with us in the comments!