Why Saying No Doesn't Make You a Bad Person
I was always the type of person who said yes to everything asked of me. If someone asked me for a favor, I would say yes even if it was something I had to go out of my way for. I agreed to plans that didn't really excite me and I went to restaurants with cuisines I wasn't very fond of. This changed a little over a year ago when I learned how to say no. With that, I promised myself that settling would never be an option. Saying no is something I was nervous about because I was so concerned with how other people felt and sacrificed what made me happy in the process. Learning how to say no and letting things go was my first step in making sure I didn't fall into the habit of settling for things that didn't make me happy. A lot of us worry so much about appeasing others that we forget to put ourselves first. It also has a lot to do with self-confidence because when you don't think so highly of yourself, you become preoccupied with this thought that if you disagree with someone they won't like you anymore. It sounds crazy to me now but it took a lot of growth and self-reflection to get to this point.
The choice of not settling is applicable to almost every aspect of my life and probably yours, as well. It could be in terms of your friends, relationships, or everyday things like coffee and the food you eat. I'm big on coffee especially because it's usually the first thing I have in the day. I order my drink the same way at the same local shops so if something feels off, I have no problem saying so. Good coffee is important to me and that's just one of the things I choose not to settle on. This could easily be misconstrued as being a brat but the way I see it is, if you don't speak up when the little things upset you, how will you address mote complicated issues? My new mindset of speaking up opposed to being okay with whatever is thrown at me has been a pathway into eliminating things that didn't contribute to my life. I don't mean contribute material things either. If someone's presence doesn't uplift you or help make you a better person, especially when it comes to friends and dating, what are you doing? I found myself settling for comfortability over substance in more aspects than one and once again had to bring myself to say no. Saying no doesn't make you a bad person. It just means you're aware of what you want and I believe you should never have to sacrifice that. The right people will respect these decisions and you'll weed out the ones bringing you down
Have you found yourself settling in a particular part of your own life? Have you made plans to change that? Feel free to share in the comments!